|in which leo panics about jobs and asks your opinion again
||[Apr. 6th, 2011|11:40 pm]
I'm pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary.
oh god, okay guys, i've been procrastinating this post for a while because apparently my current way of dealing with big decisions is PRETEND THEY DONT EXIST LALALALA MEANINGLESS.
and then lj broke so I couldn't inform you all about my FEELINGS, I'm sure you missed that very much.
This post has a point. I promise. Pete keeps talking at me and not letting me think, please shut up.
I have a job interview tomorrow. to be a groom for the NSW Mounted Police, a cadetship (which means it's only available to people under 25 and is essentially a paid apprenticeship) and pretty much the job my nine-year-old-self would have had a SEIZURE over. If this job had appeared a year ago, I'd have thrown myself wholeheartedly at it and would probably be there right now.
The problem is, I have found this ZOMG AMAZING PRETTY MUCH ONE-CHANCE job at the worst POSSIBLE time. I have a job that pays well (when I have enough hours) and am actually happy at uni for the first time since starting, because of both more interesting classes and infinitely more fun classmates. I have a month long holiday booked and paid for, coming up in a few months. And I am in the middle of moving house.
And taking on this job could potentially ruin all that. It's full time, and from what I understand, shift work, so some early early mornings, some day shifts, and some evening. I'd have to quit/defer uni (or at the very least move to part time, which would still lose me my amazing classmates D:), and pretty much the main problem here is if I am successful in this interview, I am going to have to choose, and I am freaking the fuck out over it.
This really isnt making a lot of coherent sense so I'm going to write out a pros and cons list, now, before my head explodes.
Full Time Horsy Person:
- OMG PONIES.
- Steady and secure job - NSW Govt, so no dodgy casual hours.
- I'm good with horses and don't mind the work
- I've had "working with horses", particularly maybe training and rehabilitating them, as a Plan B in my life for a while now - I'd choose that over working with dogs, probably. (Plan b meaning, if the whole Design World thing is too crazy competitive and fruitless, I know working with animals is always a possibility.) This would give me MAJOR, respected experience and definitely help me get into that business.
- Physical work would keep me fit (I currently have a lot of semi-serious problems associated with the sitting-down-at-computers that I do)
- OMFG PONIES. I'd feel like I'd just tripped and fallen into an 19th century novel, you guys, part of the job is 'maintaining and fitting ceremonial harness' agsfdhfhdljfljdlask
- No idea if they'd respect my already-booked holiday plans.
- Means I'd have to give up study (my classes may have improved but a lot of that is to do with the people IN the classes, as well as the material. I am very reluctant to give up having them as classmates, they really help me actually do well at college)
- I and all my belongings would stink of horse. Horse is not a smell that is easy to get rid of. I really enjoy the fact that not working at the pet shop means I am often Clean and have Nice Nails, because it is so novel to me. Animals and vanity dont mix.
- Full time work. I can't just take whimsical sick days or 'woo lets go to Melbourne for the weekeend!' leave anywhere as easily as I can as a casual, PARTICULARLY because it's animal related - they ALWAYS need looking after. It's not like short staffing an office for a day.
- Physical work, I bet I'll be fucking exhausted all the time. Also a high percentage of early mornings (so limiting nighttime activity)
- Sometimes horsy people SUCK. I'd never work in a racing stables because people in that industry are such wankers - that's also technically a plus to this job, though, because it's the LEAST wanky horse industry I can think of.
Uni + Casual job:
- My classmates are the most fun people I've met in AGES.
- My classes are fucking fun. Sure, there's a lot of homework that I'm struggling with (not having the computer programmes at home means I have to do all assignments ON CAMPUS) but dude we are building a TEMPLE in one class, a turtleduck in another, and a fucking awesome typography class as well. (lol, and learning html, waaaaay ahead in that class)
- I have the biggest fucking crush on my typography lecturer, oh my fucking god I turn all stupid and fourteen around the guy what is this even this is not a valid point
- It's no real drama if I want to fuck off interstate for a day/weekend/whatever. Also no drama with epic UK/USA trip.
- I really, REALLY like having a concession card, you guys.
- The fact that i'm studying pleases my parents and means I can continue to be a silly 'teenager' for a bit longer, wheeee irresponsibility! 3am bedtimes!
- who knows, maybe i will actually get a bitchin' cool SFX design job like I always wanted.
- Sitting at computers all day is ruining my body. Literally. Fucked wrist, fingers, shoulder and Mystery Bloodclot Like Ailment in legs. If I quit 000 and got a waitressing job this would be lessened, but still, Definite Body Damage from computers.
- Can't work full time with uni. 000 being very unreliable with hours at the moment (hence me even finding this stupid horse job in the first place) but even if I quit it and worked for a pizza place or something, it's still casual hours and not always dependable.
- Expensive long term. My course costs $55kAUD by the end, which I am not paying up front but will owe the FEE HELP people.
- There's no guaruntee Awesome Class of Awesome wont get split up and rearranged next semester, I cant go back to that other class you guys, they made me want to flush my head (and their work) down a toilet.
- May only place me in a job of severe mundanity designing logos for supermarket's own brand pasta. Woe.
HELP, GUYS, HELP. I'm not going to decide anything until tomorrow's practical trial and interview, andw who knows, maybe that will make the choice more obvious, but right now I
am faced with something that boils down to:
MY LIFE IS FORKING IN TWO. DO I TAKE THE UNQUALIFIED BUT HARDWORKING, SECURE, FRUMPY, LIFE CONSUMING AND SMELLING OF ANIMAL PATH OR THE "EASIER", MORE "GLAMOUROUS" POTENTIALLY AWESOME AND POTENTIALLY TOTAL DEAD END DESIGNER PATH.
HALP HALP HAAAAAALP I nearly threw up on the train from stressing about this. It's not a flippant decision and quite frankly could shape the rest of my life, if I choose to totally shut off one option for the other. BUT I WANT TO DO BOTH. FOR DIFFERENT REASONS. WHAT DO I DO EXCEPT CALL THE WAAAAAHMBULANCE.